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http://zzspongefreak26zz.newgrounds.co m/news/post/375293#c2369859

THE MOST AMAZING NEWGROUNDS MEMBER TO EVER TRAVEL TO THESE FAIR SHORES.

AT THE WEE AGE OF 13, THIS MASCULINE BUNCH OF TESTOSTERONE WILL GIVE YOU A CONCUSSION WHILST LEAVING YOU WITH 12 MONTHS OF VERTIGO AND OTHER SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES.

I SUGGEST WE MEET THIS VERY MANLY HUMAN BEING WITH OPEN ARMS AND ENJOY HIS COMPANY WHILST HE IS WITH US. OH, AND DON'T MIND THE BIG EGO GUISE.

Yes?

http://wehatealanbaird.proboards.com/i ndex.cgi

Join up! Doesn't matter if you know who Alan Baird is or not, just join up anyway. You'll love it.

I was Eager to see what was inside. I looked on by everything was a blur. i don't stop moving until I'm sure I'm in..

I look down at my worn shoes. they have been through a lot, in the last day or so. but my blistered feet are not on the agenda, as i stroll ever deeper into this Misty unknown cavern to which i am unaware.

My foot slams into something sharp, and my body tumbles towards the floor. i feel a numbing pain shoot down my leg. I move my body around to see that a sharp piece of metal has pierced my bone and is impaled and stuck. Through shock, i try to drive it out, but all i try fails.

I stay situated on the cold, dirty floor, and i become accustom to my surroundings. there are broken swords, armor, small daggers, arrows around me. The cavern i have walked into was more vast than i had originally expected, and as the mist disappears, i look upwards, at a city of Stalagmites that twist and turn around each other. i ignore the wondrous sight i see before me and concentrate on getting out of here.

i grab a nearby dagger i see, and plunge one end into my foot. my body rejects the blade, but my will is still strong, and i start to chop through the bone.

As soon as i break the last piece of skin that is connecting my leg to my foot, i grab a rock nearby, and pick myself up off the floor, with a loud gasp, that echos throughout the entire ministry or Stalagmites and steel that surrounds me.

I tie a bow around my leg, to try and stop the bleeding, and slowly bring myself past fainting. I start to move forward...

See i was walking back from school and there was this woman with a shopping trolly filled with... im not sure, but it stunk. so anyway, i walk past her and cough the smell out of my lungs. the next morning i walk up the road. i see the trolly tipped over in the middle of the street, and the stinky remains everywhere.

the woman was no where to be seen. so i walk to the bus stop get on the bus etc, goto school. On the way back i see the trolly has been moved towards another road, and the clothes sluggishedly placed onto the trolly, some looking like there gonna fall out of the top of it. so, we see it and the woman comes out from a car, and a man is shouting at her. i couldnt really hear what he was saying as i was a while away. i got the words "bitch", "whore" and "tramp".

Next morning on the way to school again, im walking up the road and there she is, on the pavement, asleep with some money in a costa coffee cup. i walk past her not wanting to do anything. on the way back from school it looks like some ones tipped over the trolly and kicked all the clothes about. the costa coffee cup is in the middle of the road, flat, and some coins scattered about everywhere. so i decide to stop and look around to see if shes anywhere. nope.

Then i feel some horrible pain and she says to give her my iPod and Money. i say no, and she hits me round the head hard. she then takes my iPod and Money. she starts to run, but its more of a walk than that. i catch up with her and trip her up. she hits her nose, and it starts to bleed. soon theres this pool of blood round where her nose is, and she's knocked out. i take my iPod back but let her keep the £1.20 of change i had. the next day i see her once again asleep in the same position, this time with an empty trolly. the costa coffee cup is all bent and ripped, and my money is in there.

i pick the cup up, twist it the other way and let the money drop onto my hands. i then drop the cup. She wakes and pushes me. she screams at me in an inaudiable voice; i have no idea what shes saying. its all rough and horrible. makes my teeth go on edge. so anyway, i walk away, and she starts to come after me. i walk faster. she walks faster. i Run. She runs. not fast mind, im way ahead of her. im at the bus stop, and a few minutes later i see her struggle around the corner and she sees me.

she comes up to me and says shes sorry for stealing things off me and she asks for some money. feeling sorry, i give her the money. for the next 2 weeks she constantly asks me for money and i give it too her. finally, i get annoyed and say, "Go get a job you stupid tramp". she hits me round the face and i wake up naked on a bed, my arms and legs tied up to the sides. there is a laptop on a desk infront of me. one of the ropes holding onto me are loose.

i untie myself and get onto the laptop. and i write about what happened. so can someone help?

Oh shit someones coming in plea

Edit: PART 2

Sometimes I try to do things and it just doesn't work out the way I wanted to.
I get real frustrated and I try hard to do it and I take my time and it doesn't work out the way I wanted to.
It's like I concentrate real hard and it doesn't work out
Everything I do and everything I try never turns out
It's like I need time to figure these things out
But there's always someone there going

Hey Mike:
You know we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately.
You know, maybe you should get away and maybe you should talk about it, maybe you'll feel a lot better

And I go:
No it's okay, you know I'll figure it out, just leave me alone I'll figure it out. You know I'll just work by myself.

And they go:
Well you know if you want to talk about it I'll be here you know and you'll probably feel a lot better if you talk about it.

And I go:
No I don't want to I'm okay, I'll figure it out myself and they just keep bugging me and they just keep bugging me and it builds up inside and it builds up inside.

So you're gonna be institutionalized
You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes
You won't have any say
They'll brainwash you until you see their way.

I'm not crazy - in an institution
You're the one who's crazy - in an institution
You're driving me crazy - in an institution

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything
But then again I was thinking about nothing
And then my mom came in and I didn't even know she was there she called my name
And I didn't even hear it, and then she started screaming: MIKE! MIKE!
And I go:
What, what's the matter
And she goes:
What's the matter with you?
I go:
There's nothing-wrong mom.
And she goes:
Don't tell me that, you're on drugs!
And I go:
No mom I'm not on drugs I'm okay, I was just thinking you know, why don't you get me a Pepsi.
And she goes:
NO you're on drugs!
I go:
Mom I'm okay, I'm just thinking.
She goes:
No you're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't act that way!
I go:
Mom just give me a Pepsi please
All I want is a Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me.
Just a Pepsi.

They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves
Drug you up because they're lazy
It's too much work to help a crazy

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up a chair and they sat down, they go:
Mike, we need to talk to you
And I go:
Okay what's the matter
They go:
Me and your mom have been noticing lately that you've been having a lot of problems,
You've been going off for no reason and we're afraid you're gonna hurt somebody,
We're afraid you're gonna hurt yourself.
So we decided that it would be in your interest if we put you somewhere
Where you could get the help that you need.
And I go:
Wait, what do you mean, what are you talking about, we decided!?
My best interest?! How can you know what's my best interest is?
How can you say what my best interest is? What are you trying to say, I'm crazy?
When I went to your schools, I went to your churches,
I went to your institutional learning facilities?! So how can you say I'm crazy.

They say they're gonna fix my brain
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I'll be dead

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

It doesn't matter I'l l probably get hit by a car anyway

EDIT: OMG CHICKINS
EDIT: HOMO's ARE GEY LAWL
EDIT: HOBOS AHOY!
EDIT: I DESTROYED AND INSENERATED THE OCEAN - FISH KILLS ARE OFF THE FUCKING ROOF
EDIT: IVE NOW KILLED 50000 PEOPLE! HURRAHE FOR ME!!!

IM ENJOYING LIFE TO THE FULL TODAY.

SO FAR IVE KILLED 5 WOMEN, 9 MEN and 12908 LITTLE CHILDREN. APPARENTLY AT THE STROKE OF MIDNIGHT SOME OLD HAG IS GOING TO REVERSE TIME FOR MEH.

Oh, and i might make a Deviantart.

STATISTICS:

MEN: 2819203
WOMEN: 1029399
CHILDREN: 1204995
DOGS: 278
CATS: 10
FISH: 1284336784
HOBOS: 23721
HOMOS: 90556
CHICKENS: 726
I ASSKAlKSSFFFFFFFFFFFFBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

NEW FLESH FOR HALLOWEEN LOL COMMENT.

Imas Makin a New Clock Movah. So Far its 3600+ Frames long, 24fps, and is the sequel to My Other Flash. its called, "TwistClocks Colourful Trek".

Then im Planning to make a More Gory One after. called "TwistClocks Killing Spree". Ive Started both, and there turning out great. What Do You Think?